My wake up call came literally in the middle of the night. For several nights in a row I would have to sleep sitting up, because the pain & numbness in my hands, arms, elbows and shoulders was unbearable lying down.
The quick fix was the option I was looking for, but what takes several years to develop, will take several more to repair. sigh.
I could no longer work at my computer at the job I love efficiently. For years I claimed a high tolerance to pain, but I had officially met my match with the pain I felt in my hands Spring of 2015. My days consisted of drinking as much ibuprofen as I could swallow with my Cherry Cokes, and sneaking fast food in the van between meals to bury my sadness.
Several people tried to offer advice, sympathy, relief, but until you admit you have a problem any advice is wasted. I was told I had carpel tunnel, or thoracic outlet syndrome, bad fascia, poor posture, over weight, over worked, shoulder injuries, bad circulation etc. Each new diagnosis for me shouted loudly “Sherry, You are broken”
What a indescribable journey for me. Grief. For the gal who doesn’t cry in public, for the women who doesn’t ask for help, for the mommy trying to be a roll model, for the business owner striving for success, for the child who lost her best friend & mother to Cancer. Grief looks very ugly on me/
Grief had a hand in breaking me and I am ok with that, it should have, I loved that lady with all my being.
17 days ago, I began a new journey- one to being broken for good. One that says grief can be good. I once read a quote that said “If you’re going through hell, keep going”
I can’t wait to tell you more about it.