I don’t wanna grow up.

Give me the choice between a night of painting the town, and an evening finger painting at home; in all my thirty-one years I pick the more childish one.  I have never feared being the most imature person in the room & pride myself in getting down & silly with no worries about how crazy I look. I am a kid at heart. I have endless energy. I love to make-believe, dance and act. I have no problem getting messy. I believe in Neverland, Santa and do-overs. I know my body is physically getting older but have seen no reason to grow up.

in 2009 I became a mommy and then shortly after, became a mommy of two.

Truth? Despite my love for imagination and youth, I feel old for the first time in my life, never quite grown up, but old. Physically exhausted, Emotionally drained at times, Lacking motiviation for much of anything outside of basic needs. (Food, Hygene, Bills). Old.

My struggle between being a grown up about life, while remaining a kid at heart has  motivated this journal.